Adjourning

High-performing groups are the hardest groups to leave because you not only go through all of the group forming stages but actually master all of the stages successfully. Respect and trust are the clearest established norms. Groups with characteristics of respect, trust, and smart work vs. hard work are the hardest to leave. I learned early in my career that smart work is favored better than hard work. Ex. I could work hard cleaning my classroom of painted tables and easel everyday but that wouldn't be smart. It would instead be smart to teach my students painting rules and cleaning tatics. 

In my last position as an Early Head Start Teacher was at a high quality school and I loved it. There was a extremely high morale and teachers/staff put children first. Having these qualities in a group made it hardest to leave. My closing with the group didn't take place because I went into premature labor but other closing rituals included reward ceremonies, baby showers before a maternity leave, and or socials with lunch b provided.

Now I have moved on and found a new group of colleagues. I imagine that we will adjourn from our group at the commencement ceremony. Making sure that we celebrate our accomplishments together.

Managing Conflict

The last major conflict took place 2 months ago with a private children's organization that I volunteered with as a creative arts instructor. Bi-weekly I would have an art project to coincide with a biblical lesson. In the beginning I was told that I had free range on what to create as long as it was in line with the lesson. The children were always excited to carry out the lesson but it seemed that the program leader was not. The conflict took place when it came time to carry out my part of the lesson. Right before carrying out the lesson I was bombarded with questions about what I was going to do in my lesson and even asked to make changes at the last minute. My frustration arose from this happening consistently. I felt that it was unprofessional to inquire right before but should be discussed earlier in the week or prior to teaching the lesson.. My thought process was not to discard constructive criticism altogether but instead receive constructive criticism in enough time to apply change. It was frustrating to make changes right before and created a hostile working environment for me.

After reading the lesson I learned two different strategies to resolve this conflict from our text book Real Communication:

1. I enjoyed reading the Steps to a Supportive Climate, which suggests to focus on facts, be open for discussion, ask for help, and be assertive in order to achieve a supportive climate. 

In my conflict I could have been assertive and asked for a review of my lesson instead of waiting on the program leader to inquire. This could have prevented frustration on the day of the lesson. 

2. Compromising, when both parties has to give something up is another concept that can be used to resolve conflict. 

In my conflict the program leader could have compromised by giving some free range of the creative arts lesson vs. the entire lesson. More control or structure could have been more gratifying.

Reference
O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J.  (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.   

• Chapter 8, "Managing Conflict in Relationships pg. 222-223" 

Communication Effectiveness

This week I was able to reflect on the similarities and differences of my communication style through my husband, former co-worker and myself. My evaluations as a communicator varied for each assessment. I received a mild/low score for communication anxiety and verbal aggressiveness from others and a moderate score for both communication anxiety and verbal aggressiveness from myself. This information revealed that I may be more harsh the way I judge my communication than others. Others think I am always respectful and able to disagree or change minds gently while I think I always remain respectful and attack the issue or facts rather than a persons and his or her character. 

I was surprised at the questions in the verbal aggressiveness assessment. Damaging self concept, devaluing, and assaulting others with words was an eye opener. I questioned my past actions. Do I inflict pain on others with my words? Can I handle conflict without attacking someone else's character? When I saw that I actually scored myself the highest, I thought maybe I can use some etiquette training to lower my score.   

In the end I believe the key to effective communication is respect for others. Being respectful sets the tone for more communication to happen. From this assignment I have decided to further research on verbal aggression and how to communicate non-offensively when their is a disagreement or a dialog of persuasion. By doing this I would be able to communicate more effectively in many of my relationships including those with children and families.